Parents, Please Eat Dinner With Your Children, Their Essays Depend on It

As I have said previously, COVID has had a profound affect on our children. Nowhere does this become more evident than when working with students on the Common Application essay. This essay is all about self-reflection and demonstrating something about a student's character, and the ability to engage in meaningful activity. I recently held a series of college essay workshops for my students. Every student was required to attend one two-hour workshop. I sent out four essays before each workshop for the students to read. We had great discussions, students shared their opinions on the essays, they wrote about vulnerability, listed three things they would like to share in a job interview and for the most part, left the workshops with no idea of what they wanted to share with college admissions.
Many students seem to lack the ability to self-reflect. They want to talk about the things they did or things that happened to them. "The time I..." started many an essay idea. The time I fell off my bike (real suggestion) the time my brother went off to college, the time I injured (insert any body part imaginable) playing (insert every sport played).  When I ask them what is the characteristic they wish to convey, they stare at me. These are bright students, but they haven't been encouraged to think about themselves, and I think the dining room table is where this should start. Most of my students do not eat with their parents on a regular basis. They are not getting the adult input they need to turn off their phones and turn on their thinking. I know it's difficult with practices, work, and a thousand other demands on everyone's time, but students today are missing something critical to their development, parental conversation.  As Socrates said,"An unexamined life is not worth living." Parents are the best ones to help students think deeply about who they are and who they hope to become.